Over Parenting – Imperfectly Perfect parenting
So, I sometime wonder if parents see themselves as a helicopter parent,
what can you say!!!
First off, let’s all take a moment to accept the ultimate truth about parenting – Its not so Easy. Leading a school, Being an educationalist, Handling many Businesses I myself sometimes try to be a super – parent.
Parenting Matters!!! Sharing my opinions and thoughts, and my decade of experience being a parent of two twin kids. Throughout this circus act of parenting, I felt that it’s important to focus on balancing priorities, juggling responsibilities and quickly flipping between the needs of our children, other family members and yourself.
You are a parent, but you’re also only human. There will be days you would want to throw in the towel, break down in tears, or want to blame yourself for not being the ‘fixer’. Have your moment of getting it all out, but remember that you’re still, and will always be, your child’s superhero.
Don’t live your DREAM in your children. Let them have Their Own Dreams. Don’t stress them for school, tuition, sports and activities in just one single day.
Let them be imperfectly perfect.
Every parent plants a seed in the mind of the child which over a period of time bears fruits but after careful nourishment and tendering since the seed is so tender that any mishandling may fail us from realizing our dream.
I need to take a pause here since I hear many of you saying kids do not like many things, which are good for them, So the question I tend to hear from you is, should parents go children’s immature ways???
well let us try to see what all good things they resisted… Eating right, sleeping right, talking right, behaving right, seeing right, listening right, reading right etc. Child actually observes parents and never follows anything blindly…
Be willing to ask and accept help whenever you need. Your child isn’t going to lose all love and respect for you if he finds out that you too can fail at something; it will teach him that no one is perfect, and that’s quite alright.
One day you learn that you’re going to become a parent and start reading up on every possible guide to raise a model child, the next thing you know, you’re knee-deep in stained clothes and broken toys, trying to hear the thoughts in your head while your kid screams in the background. Kids don’t come with an instruction manual and pieces of conflicting parenting advice will overflow from every corner, so, of course, you’re bound to be confused about certain matters.
As a parent, we are sure you are already providing your kid with quality education, plenty of wholesome meals, coaching in extra-curricular activities – you know, things that a parent ought to provide. But if you’re going to give in to all of your child’s material desires or compare what you’re giving him with what his peers are getting, you’re just going to find yourself wracked with guilt. This is an unnecessary burden you’re carrying. In fact, giving your child everything he asks for isn’t going to teach him very valuable lessons. You may just end up spoiling him and he may grow up to be materialistic.
Kids are always going to be fascinated by something new, just as much as they may lose interest in it almost the very next day. Granted, saying ‘no’ won’t make you very popular, but giving in to all of your child’s whims and fancies will just make him lose value for the things you do for your child.
Never be harsh!!!
Unless your child is an absolute saint, he’s going to be up to some mischief or the other that will warrant some hard words and yelling from you. It’s not the most pleasant feeling and you’ll often feel bad that you’ve scolded your precious little munchkin so harshly. Well, not going to lie, you’re going to be doing this for quite a while; and that’s only because you love your baby so much that you can’t imagine any harm befalling him! But if yelling and losing your patience is all that seems to go on from your end, then there could be a problem.
If your child throws tantrums just because you said no to him because, kids want everything they see, don’t they!, don’t peg this as your fault. Little kids misbehave, and that’s a known fact. The looks you’re getting from others or those of irritation from people who’ve clearly not handled kids a lot!
Your child’s misbehaviour can be traced back to being hungry, being tired, being overstimulated, or just wanting to test your patience!
No one here is a Super-Parent
If anyone has come across as the ideal parent to you like perfectly dressed and well-behaved kids with their perfectly dressed and well-behaved parents, know that you caught them on their best day. Every parent struggles with the multiple roles that have been bestowed upon. Working professional, chef, in-house doctor, emotional punching bag, homework helper, every-problem-in-the-world-solver – and it does get to be too much at times. Beating yourself up for not being able to fix your child’s latest problem or having forgotten to pack his lunch, even, is not the answer.
At the end of the day, no one knows what’s best for your kids like you do. Make your decisions, let go of perfection, admit your mistakes, seek advice, and don’t let the parent-guilt get to you while you’re doing better than anyone can for your child!
Jagan Mohan Rao Arishnapally
Akahara international school